Life

Sharpening the head of the unknown people
that lie before us.
Scraping and digging into
our souls and leaving

Don’t wanna worry to much.
Don’t wanna really find out
I’m hiding away from life
Don’t wanna really find out.
To escape the madness of the world.

Weeping silently, in the corner
fear in your hands.
Seeing someone die
It might be you.

Don’t wanna worry too much
Don’t wanna really find out
I’m hiding away from life
Don’t wanna really find out
To escape the madness of the world.

The scream goes through your ears , the blackboard screeches
Scarring our souls
Seeing someone die
It might be me.

Straight down the isle of life.
Looking for someone to comfort you.
When you enter the door.
What will happen? What will happen to you?
Who knows? Who cares?
Why do you?

Don’t wanna worry too much
Don’t wanna really find out
I’m hiding away from life
Don’t wanna really find out
To escape the madness of the world.

 

I wrote this song in 8th grade after my cousin Jimmy was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. Overall, I became depressed because of the actual incident and repercussions. I believe that mental health disorders are some of the worse kinds because there is nothing that you can actually do. The only thing to do is try to maintain some form of normality.

 

In order to become diagnosed with this disease, the person will typically have a break down before. In this particular case, my cousin came over my house at 3AM, broke in and woke up my parents screaming because he thought that CIA was trying to chase him. My aunt, Uncles and parents all gathered at my house and immediately brought him into McClain hospital. On the ride he was screaming, demanding for my mother, who was driving, to go through red lights and then fought to enter in the hospital. Once safely in the hospital, he refused to eat because he thought they would try to poison him, became parodied about anything and everything, and brought my entire family to become stricken with fear and sadness.

 

Meanwhile, I woke up regularly with all my cousins at my house. I had no clue what was going on. All they told me was there was an emergency with my cousin and my parents could be back later. The entire day my older cousins tried to keep me and my brother distracted form what news would be devastating to us later. When my parents finally arrived home, they sat us down and explained the current state of my cousin Jimmy. I immediately began to cry and just locked myself in my room because deep down I knew that he would never be the same, and I was right.

 

Jimmy was one of my closest cousins to me while I was growing up. My role model because he would take me out, come over and play with me and just hang out and talk, I thought he was the coolest. However, after he became diagnosed with bipolar because of drug abuse leading to extreme hormonal instability triggering bipolar, I was at a loss for who I looked up to for so many years.

My first instinct was to start writing to keep my mind off crying. I wrote and wrote until my hand cramped. At the time, I was in a band called Midnightblonde, and sought to music for my distraction. The end product ended up being successful because I created lyrics and a guitar drift to create the song Life. Today, I look back and can see what pain I endured from this traumatic experience. From this, I have grown and learned how to  cope with different situations in life, making me a stronger person today.


 

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